This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it! Psaml 118
I'm laying in bed and for hours now all I can hear is the sound of machine gun fire and an occasional " oh Sh!*" ! It sounds so real and yet the constant and rhymatic sound is almost lulling me to sleep.
Strange.
Somewhere else tonight is the same sound but with a different affect, it's not lulling anyone else to sleep.Quite the opposite in fact.
Matt and his video games, boys will be boys. Im still trying to win Pac Man, I'm pretty behind the times in video games I guess.
Somewhere else a woman is hiding in fear, worrying and praying for her life and for those that she loves, her Matt isn't just playing a video game.
So tonight I am simply thankfull for peace and for safety.
I'm confident that I will go to sleep and wake up with no one breaking into our home or hearing gun fire outside my window, tonight like everynight I will sleep safely in peace and make my way to the coffee pot and watch the birds out my kitchen window.
Yes, thank you Lord for safety and a peacefull nights sleep!
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Day 29 A thankful heart
This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118
Yes I will rejoice and yes I will be glad.
Today is Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for. It seems so cliche to say my list out loud, family, friends and love.
I think of Norfreilia and her mother Johanna in Indonesia, do they have a holiday similar? If so what are they giving thanks for. Afterall they do live in poverty, not like poverty here where we have access to foodbanks and shelters, but a different kind of poverty. A place where they live in huts and catch wild chickens. What about Holga, she lives in Uguanda, she is 13 and dosen't go to school because her health is to poor, but oddly enough it's good enough to be the familys water carrier. How many miles each day dose she carry water? What would she be thankful for? The last photo I received of her she was smiling while sweeping the dirt with a bundel of sticks. Why was she smiling? When my girls sweep they use a swifter on a tiled floor and complain about how unfair they are being treated and how hard it is. I bet Holga would feel like a princess in our home of unfairness and hard work!!
It's so hard for me to comprehend the vast differences of our lives.
I am thankful I was born here in this time in this place, to me I feel like Iv'e won the lottery somehow. When I come home tired after a long day i never have to question if I'll have food to eat and plenty of it! Or clean water to drink, I just fill up a whole bath tub and emerge myself into it with a hot cup of coffee and a good book and maybe close my eyes and drift away. I never think twice of this amazing luxury that most of the world could never comprehend.
I wish I could trade with them for a day and compare notes or walk with them for a week and see. I want to see the joy they have when to us or to me it would appear they seem to have nothing, nothing to laugh about, nothing to be thankful for, nothing to really want to live for. And yet Holga is smiling a real genuine smile, her face is glowing and there is a peace that radiates from her heart and shines like the sun through her eyes.
I love these girls from two different parts of the world, we are all connected and chances are the three of us will never meet. It amazes me each time I open the mailbox and see a letter thats stamped with the words 'letter from sponsored child' accross the top.I run to the house my heart is racing with excitement to see what they have said. I feel them so close in my heart in that moment and Iv'e never met them, how can I love them so much. I guess I will never know.
Johanna, Norfeilas mom, we write as well and as I am living here in America praying for God to bless my children and keep them safe, bless my buisness and make more money, when I allready own a home and have a car and go out to eat and more clothes and shoes than I need, I read the last line of Johannas precious letter and it says" I always pray for the Lord God to bless you Mrs. Destiny Jackson" and My hands started to tremble and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Why? How? A woman in a hut in poverty praying for God to bless me? Seemed so backwards, I felt humbeled, I felt unworthy of such a prayer, I felt loved by this woman. Here we are I thought to myself two woman with girls, with a home, with faith, with compassion. We are very much the same with our different languages, different economic status, different types of housing, but we are the same.
I am anxiuosly awaiting my next letter from Johanna, I told her of my upcoming wedding and asked about her own love story and how they met and what there custom of marriage is, I wish she could be at my wedding feast and celebration this siter of mine.
Not here, not in this lifetime but one day for the marriage supper of the lamb. We will feast and dance and celebrate all the goodness of the LORD together...
Revelations 19 6-9
6 Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:
“Hallelujah!
For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
7 Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
8 Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear.”
(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.)
9 Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”
At least in my mind I picture it to be a celebration like a wedding, but beyond anything I could ever want or hope or dream of!!!
Johanna, Norfeila, Holga, it will be an honor and a pleasure to dance and celebrate with you all one day!! Thank you for praying for me and changing not just my life but my heart in so many ways! May the Lord bless you and keep you,his face shine upon you, goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your lives!!!!
Yes I will rejoice and yes I will be glad.
Today is Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for. It seems so cliche to say my list out loud, family, friends and love.
I think of Norfreilia and her mother Johanna in Indonesia, do they have a holiday similar? If so what are they giving thanks for. Afterall they do live in poverty, not like poverty here where we have access to foodbanks and shelters, but a different kind of poverty. A place where they live in huts and catch wild chickens. What about Holga, she lives in Uguanda, she is 13 and dosen't go to school because her health is to poor, but oddly enough it's good enough to be the familys water carrier. How many miles each day dose she carry water? What would she be thankful for? The last photo I received of her she was smiling while sweeping the dirt with a bundel of sticks. Why was she smiling? When my girls sweep they use a swifter on a tiled floor and complain about how unfair they are being treated and how hard it is. I bet Holga would feel like a princess in our home of unfairness and hard work!!
It's so hard for me to comprehend the vast differences of our lives.
I am thankful I was born here in this time in this place, to me I feel like Iv'e won the lottery somehow. When I come home tired after a long day i never have to question if I'll have food to eat and plenty of it! Or clean water to drink, I just fill up a whole bath tub and emerge myself into it with a hot cup of coffee and a good book and maybe close my eyes and drift away. I never think twice of this amazing luxury that most of the world could never comprehend.
I wish I could trade with them for a day and compare notes or walk with them for a week and see. I want to see the joy they have when to us or to me it would appear they seem to have nothing, nothing to laugh about, nothing to be thankful for, nothing to really want to live for. And yet Holga is smiling a real genuine smile, her face is glowing and there is a peace that radiates from her heart and shines like the sun through her eyes.
I love these girls from two different parts of the world, we are all connected and chances are the three of us will never meet. It amazes me each time I open the mailbox and see a letter thats stamped with the words 'letter from sponsored child' accross the top.I run to the house my heart is racing with excitement to see what they have said. I feel them so close in my heart in that moment and Iv'e never met them, how can I love them so much. I guess I will never know.
Johanna, Norfeilas mom, we write as well and as I am living here in America praying for God to bless my children and keep them safe, bless my buisness and make more money, when I allready own a home and have a car and go out to eat and more clothes and shoes than I need, I read the last line of Johannas precious letter and it says" I always pray for the Lord God to bless you Mrs. Destiny Jackson" and My hands started to tremble and I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Why? How? A woman in a hut in poverty praying for God to bless me? Seemed so backwards, I felt humbeled, I felt unworthy of such a prayer, I felt loved by this woman. Here we are I thought to myself two woman with girls, with a home, with faith, with compassion. We are very much the same with our different languages, different economic status, different types of housing, but we are the same.
I am anxiuosly awaiting my next letter from Johanna, I told her of my upcoming wedding and asked about her own love story and how they met and what there custom of marriage is, I wish she could be at my wedding feast and celebration this siter of mine.
Not here, not in this lifetime but one day for the marriage supper of the lamb. We will feast and dance and celebrate all the goodness of the LORD together...
Revelations 19 6-9
6 Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:
“Hallelujah!
For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
7 Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
8 Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear.”
(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.)
9 Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”
At least in my mind I picture it to be a celebration like a wedding, but beyond anything I could ever want or hope or dream of!!!
Johanna, Norfeila, Holga, it will be an honor and a pleasure to dance and celebrate with you all one day!! Thank you for praying for me and changing not just my life but my heart in so many ways! May the Lord bless you and keep you,his face shine upon you, goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your lives!!!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Day 28 the wounded soul
This is the day the LORD has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118
Day 28
Im going to give thanks and praise to God every day for 6 months no matter what life brings,
This is my challenge to myself. Some days it's easy , others not, and some days seem ordinary with nothing really that special. I guess that is what part of the challenge is.
Lately I seem to be very emotional, more sensitive to others than ordinary. Awhile back you may remember I prayed several times for God to break my heart for what breaks his and to really look into the eyes of others around me and feel . Feel their sorrow, feel their pain, feel their happiness, laugh with them, cry with them.
I have a new friend. my new friend barely speaks english. She is always smiling but I see something more when I look into her eyes, something familiar. I know that smile, it's the same smile I have used. The mask that hides the wounded soul. We see it every day on different people and it's so easy to overlook. Untill you stop and say hello, and look and see.
I see beauty, I see pain, I see happiness to have someone to share with, i see a life that has lived a million hurts, and shared a thousand laughs, and a heart that grieves for a love that has betrayed.
Shattered.Broken. Bruised.Despair.Lonliness.Wondering why.
Tangled together in a beautiful mess.
The mask that hides the wounded soul slowly begins to crack, and another smile fills the holes, untill she slowly fades away not knowing who is looking back at the reflection in the mirror.
I share her tears as I try to understand her broken english and in my spirit I pray and ask for understanding and a way to communicate.
Our languages may be different, our faiths our different, but none of that matters. Our masks are the same,our pain is familiar. My heart breaks for her and I wonder why, why do we have to hurt, why do we have to suffer injustice.
We are women from different walks of life but yet I feel like we are walking down the same path in this life. So for now I just want to be a friend and listen. I'm trying to learn some basic phrases of her language but I'm not so good at it! I think she knows i mean well!
I want to help her chisel her mask off one peice at a time, untill it begins to crumble one layer at a time, to reveal the true beauty that lies beneath the sorrow in her eyes, i know the feeling of relief when the weight has been removed and peace within radiates from the depth of my very soul.
Day 28
Im going to give thanks and praise to God every day for 6 months no matter what life brings,
This is my challenge to myself. Some days it's easy , others not, and some days seem ordinary with nothing really that special. I guess that is what part of the challenge is.
Lately I seem to be very emotional, more sensitive to others than ordinary. Awhile back you may remember I prayed several times for God to break my heart for what breaks his and to really look into the eyes of others around me and feel . Feel their sorrow, feel their pain, feel their happiness, laugh with them, cry with them.
I have a new friend. my new friend barely speaks english. She is always smiling but I see something more when I look into her eyes, something familiar. I know that smile, it's the same smile I have used. The mask that hides the wounded soul. We see it every day on different people and it's so easy to overlook. Untill you stop and say hello, and look and see.
I see beauty, I see pain, I see happiness to have someone to share with, i see a life that has lived a million hurts, and shared a thousand laughs, and a heart that grieves for a love that has betrayed.
Shattered.Broken. Bruised.Despair.Lonliness.Wondering why.
Tangled together in a beautiful mess.
The mask that hides the wounded soul slowly begins to crack, and another smile fills the holes, untill she slowly fades away not knowing who is looking back at the reflection in the mirror.
I share her tears as I try to understand her broken english and in my spirit I pray and ask for understanding and a way to communicate.
Our languages may be different, our faiths our different, but none of that matters. Our masks are the same,our pain is familiar. My heart breaks for her and I wonder why, why do we have to hurt, why do we have to suffer injustice.
We are women from different walks of life but yet I feel like we are walking down the same path in this life. So for now I just want to be a friend and listen. I'm trying to learn some basic phrases of her language but I'm not so good at it! I think she knows i mean well!
I want to help her chisel her mask off one peice at a time, untill it begins to crumble one layer at a time, to reveal the true beauty that lies beneath the sorrow in her eyes, i know the feeling of relief when the weight has been removed and peace within radiates from the depth of my very soul.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Day 27 Feels good
This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118
Feels good to be back. Maybe because I'm all cozzied up in my bed with my favorite blankets and a hot fresh ground coffee. Maybe it's because this is the first blog post from my new home. Maybe its the smell of cinnamon rolls drifting from the kitchen. Just feels good to be here.
It'sbeen about a month or so , the hardest part of this 6 month challenge isn't finding a reason to be thankful but finding the time to write about it. So lets do a quick overlook shall we.
Matt sold his house, Praise God! Mine has not sold yet, so keep praying with me! We bought a new one, still in process of setteling in and marging 2 families into one. The wedding date has been set, December 22 , 20111.
My creative brain is on overload, new projects on the way!
My lap top broke.
We had our first arguement, after 3 years I guess it was time!
My children lost their minds for a brief time, but they are back now!
And of course the beautiful wedding gown I purchased was a limited edition and only one size was avaialable and instead of loosing 10 pounds to have it fit perfect I've gained 3! so now I need to loose 13 pounds in the next 30 days, hmm I may need to find an alterations specialist soon!
So in all this what am I choosing to give thanks for ?
I am thankful God has blessed me so over abundantly, not with things, even though He is, but with love. There is love all around me, in my home, my job, a kind word from a stranger, friendships that are blossoming and growing, and love from my Father. He is granting me the desires of my heart . He is pouring out his blessings and goodness upon me! He is faithful in his word and with his promises, and I sometimes fwel so unworthy of Him and his gifts. My heart and my brain are two different things. But the truth is , I am worthy, I am loved, I am redeemed. I am not perfect but I will always be loved and nothing can seperate me from the love of Christ.
I encourage you to read the rest of this Psalm. I am done comparing myself to others and their success to mine and even my failures. It feels good to know there is justice to those who cause harm and forgiveness for those who turn around. It feels good just to bask in the presence of the Lord and not just know I am loved but to feel that I am loved.
Today is a good day and it's just begining!!
Feels good to be back. Maybe because I'm all cozzied up in my bed with my favorite blankets and a hot fresh ground coffee. Maybe it's because this is the first blog post from my new home. Maybe its the smell of cinnamon rolls drifting from the kitchen. Just feels good to be here.
It'sbeen about a month or so , the hardest part of this 6 month challenge isn't finding a reason to be thankful but finding the time to write about it. So lets do a quick overlook shall we.
Matt sold his house, Praise God! Mine has not sold yet, so keep praying with me! We bought a new one, still in process of setteling in and marging 2 families into one. The wedding date has been set, December 22 , 20111.
My creative brain is on overload, new projects on the way!
My lap top broke.
We had our first arguement, after 3 years I guess it was time!
My children lost their minds for a brief time, but they are back now!
And of course the beautiful wedding gown I purchased was a limited edition and only one size was avaialable and instead of loosing 10 pounds to have it fit perfect I've gained 3! so now I need to loose 13 pounds in the next 30 days, hmm I may need to find an alterations specialist soon!
So in all this what am I choosing to give thanks for ?
I am thankful God has blessed me so over abundantly, not with things, even though He is, but with love. There is love all around me, in my home, my job, a kind word from a stranger, friendships that are blossoming and growing, and love from my Father. He is granting me the desires of my heart . He is pouring out his blessings and goodness upon me! He is faithful in his word and with his promises, and I sometimes fwel so unworthy of Him and his gifts. My heart and my brain are two different things. But the truth is , I am worthy, I am loved, I am redeemed. I am not perfect but I will always be loved and nothing can seperate me from the love of Christ.
 Psalm 37a Of David. 1Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; 2for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. 3Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: 6He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. 9For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. 10A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. 11But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace. 12The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them; 13but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming. | |||
I encourage you to read the rest of this Psalm. I am done comparing myself to others and their success to mine and even my failures. It feels good to know there is justice to those who cause harm and forgiveness for those who turn around. It feels good just to bask in the presence of the Lord and not just know I am loved but to feel that I am loved.
Today is a good day and it's just begining!!
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