Wednesday, September 7, 2011

savoring life like a white chocolate passionfruit trufffel

this is the day the Lord has made and i will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

  The biggest challenge of this 6 month challenge to give thanks everyday for 6 months no matter what life brings, is time i have discovered! Im on day 8 but it should probably be 20!
Time goes by so quickly and there is never enough of it. Its one of the few things money can not buy, if we could id invest in alot of stock!
I didnt know what i was going to be thankful for when i started to write or what to write about, so i do what i usualy do, God give me words. Time. it keeps coming to me.
Who do i want to be in this time that i have? how do i want to be remebered? will i be satisfied at the end of my time here on earth? or will ibe grasping for more?will i just exist through it? walking slowly and disconnected?or running so fast i pass it all up?
I want to savor every bit of it, like my favorite white passion fruit truffel (from obsession chocolates!) When i take a bite its so delicious i want to eat the whole thing right away!but then its gone, and i am licking my teeth for more,wishing i would of taken the time to really enjoy it and savor it,one nibble at a time.
No more pettiness.
No more complaining.
No more pouting.
No more working extra extra late for 50bucks not even 100 bucks! My family is worth more!!!
Im done with feeling sorry, depressed days, tired mornings, its not fair,  living in the past, not being thankful.
I am not existing but living!
I am not fine but fantastic!
I am not a victim but a survivor!
I am going to live without regrets.
I am going to have a heart of love
show compassion
I am going to walk in truth
I am going to show kindness, not just think kind thoughts
actions speak louder than words
I am going to embrace life and all its moments, from the sweetest to the raw and griity ones.
I am not perfect, actually very flawed
Ill never live perfectly but I am more aware of what and how i want my life to be, what i desire to be what i long to become. how i want to spend my time that i have left.
I want my time to be on the mountain top, but i know to get there the journey is a raw and gritty one, but i am learning that is where the strength for the journey comes, thats where integrity is formed, where true character is defined. I have been up and down the mountain many times, too many to count. The difference now is my attitude going back up. Who will I find along the way, will i stop to wipe the sweat from their brow? Walk to find them water? Sit with them for awhile,let my heart break for theirs? or will i be focused on me and what lies ahead? i would like to use that time to unwrap a delicious white chocolate passion fruit truffel and share in the goodness of life.
Yes life is good. life is a blessing. time may be short and the journey may be a difficult one, but thats when you feel refreshment, at the end of something difficult. A cold glass of water taste so much better at the end of hike than just on a walk.

Psalm 39:5
You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;at best, each of us is but a breath.

Thank you God for this time. thank you for life and breath of another day.  help me to use it wisely and not waste this precious gift, help me to see more clearly and walk in obedience to you. break my heart with what breaks yours so i may be more loving, more patient,more compassionate, help me to speak with love and not in anger, not to take my time for granit.thank you for the gritty times, never leaving me but healing, giving new life a new heart and a new perspective. amen

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